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< when are you leaving? | posted at 5:43 pm on June 03, 2005 > Just a quick one darlings, because I must be off.I have so much work to do it's not funny, well it is kind of funny, in a sad, dark, black, sadistic kind of way. And I'm sick so I can't think particularly straight and the headphones to my ipod don't work so i don't even have musical relief while i'm travelling and i have to tell housing that i'm not living there anymore and andrew hasn't replied to my email of four hours ago (don't laugh, we're both at work, it's a banter thing, not one of those i-have-three-million-years-to-reply things) and i have a headache and i wanna go home. my heart hurts when i think about andrew. physically. or when i'm with him, and i chicken out of saying that i love him again. and again and again and again. my week is going to be hell, wish me luck. i don't ever write anything interesting in here anymore. i wish we could go back and make different decisions. not because i regret any of my decisions, i don't regret any of them, truly, but i do wonder what happens when you make different ones. nothing is wrong. wrong doesn't exist because you don't get a chance to see how much better the other road is. i'm not making sense, this is because my head is buried under lots of fighting germs and antibodies, my immune system trying desperately to overcome the Beasts of Hell (ie. cold germs). 'germ' - such a cool word. hmmm. those last five |