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< merry xmas | posted at 2:26 pm on December 29, 2004 > so besides xmas, which seems so long ago now, i attended this reunion dinner with my parents. see, they flew over to australia back in 1974 on a special scholarship plan that meant fifty students from vietnam were allowed to go to australia and get paid to study at unsw, and then after their degree they had to go back to vietnam and work there for five years. it�s kind of like a developing country charity thing. western countries would educate and cater for the smartest students each year, and then send them back so they had the skills to help their own countries. it was actually a very good idea.my parents� year, though, ended up being the last year to do it... because of the war. and in the middle of their degree, the war ended, and the north won � so the scholarship crew (being southerners) were stuck in australia with no contact with their families for six months. and then, when they did find contact with their families, it was so fucked up there that most didn�t go back... so you can see that a 30 year reunion of all the scholarship students � this small group of young vietnamese students stuck in australia with no-one else to be close to � would have been a very interesting affair. (on a side note, a lot of them ended up marrying each other... like my parents). so for the last week or so i�ve been wondering why dad was all stressed about it... about the slideshow, the souvenir booklet, souvenir mug, souvenir polo shirt, souvenir 1974 wine, souvenir CD of pictures (oh yeah they made a lotttt of souvenir stuff)... and then i find out on the night that he is chairman of the 1974 scholarship students gang, and that he organised the whole thing. right. anyway it went well and i think they had a lot of fun. even we (the second generation) had fun. �twas very interesting. so yes and on xmas i got a makeup kit, a dvd and an ugly bag, and we had the traditional lunch with the immediate family and bbq with the extended family. on Monday my sister and i braved the 7am crowds to wait outside grace bros in the city... we read in the paper that the first 500 people got $5 dvd players etc. but it was a gyp and we weren�t one of the first 500 anyway... but i did get some nice stuff. then on Tuesday i get a message from door B - �Hey sarah merry xmas and (all) that jazz. Would you like to go to dinner one day this week?� - which would be all well and good if i was single... so I have been thinking about this dilemma for the past however long.. I said yes to dinner with the plan of telling him about door A (aka my boyfriend), but my friend said this was a bad idea and would make dinner awkward. and in any case i still also like him. and i don�t know who i want more. i can�t tell whether i want door B more because he is new/different/mysterious/unknown; or whether door A who is the sweetest, most caring, loving person i know is something that i shouldn�t let get away. this is a complex problem. i know that you have to just go with your gut on these matters, but i just don�t know what my gut is saying. and i know i�ll end up making the wrong decision, or just making the right decision but being convinced that it is the wrong decision so fucking it up anyway. and i�ll end up 50 and unmarried and will say to all my nieces and nephews - �you know, when i was young, i had my pick of the bunch!� - but because i�m a fuckhead and i can�t decide what i want, i screwed everything up. it�s essentially a decision between � do i want to be in a relationship where i am the more intelligent, or where i am the less intelligent? - do i want to be a relationship where i like my partner more than they like me, or where they like me more than i like them? - do i want to be the one teaching my partner, or the one being taught? i can�t tell, but i have to make the decision soon, because i�m already morally in the wrong. all this bullshit �emotional cheating� stuff. you can�t help who you like � but i think the point is, you can help who you kiss. but wait. what do you all think? on the �Going To Hell�-O-Meter, where do i rate? �Roasty Toasty� or �Mild Scorching�? guestbook please! those last five |