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< seven years | posted at 3:56 pm on April 05, 2005 > buried deep in deadline again, not to see the light of day until friday. so many things on a jumbled to-do list in my head! i am certain i'll forget everything.i am broke (spending too much on processing film, and not reacting properly to david wanting to buy another print of mine - him: 'i want that one, blown up.' correct response: 'sure, that'll be x(price of enlarged print) plus y(a little extra for something nice).' real, instinctive response: 'pff! you want THAT?'); waiting impatiently for my pay rise; planning anzac day weekend holidays i can't afford. we want to go to melbourne for the long weekend, but i realised he is going to LA in may, and so may not be able to go. also might be going to his home country in september, which is the most expensive non round-the-world ticket you can buy. gah! GAH! am heart monitor free, thank god. had a 24 hour one put on yesterday and taken off this morning. twas amusing - the nurse says 'ok, i'll have to dig around for a belt that's your size,' i think, realise that not many size 6 twentysomethings generally need to wear heart monitors. am, in general, numb and bored with most things i do now except see him, and i never thought i'd be like that. though even then i don't want to see him any more often than i actually do. went to a 21st on saturday. quote, two friends to each other. 'you look really good, have you lost weight?' ... 'yeah. it's trauma.' on sunday got mad at andrew for the first time ever, and i don't know whether it was because i was slightly tipsy at the time and probably took something the wrong way, or whether it really did say something about the state of our relationship. he and a colleague (friend of his whom i don't like) were talking about their younger girlfriends. i got sick of it and said 'uh, can you not have this conversation in front of me?' - he was all 'it's not like that, you're not your age, you're a good three years more mature than your age' - but i was still annoyed. his friend was so patronising about his own younger girlfriend that i got so angry and went to the bathroom. GRR. we aren't objects, it's degrading when you talk about her like that. it's not about age, though i'm beginning to see why people generally don't cross the 'large-age-gap' barrier. it's about respect. anyway. i was more angry at his dumbarse arrogant arsewipe friend, he himself didn't say anything very bad, but if he ever does... grrrrrrr. those last five |