< a firm kick | posted at 6:51 pm on March 28, 2005 >
looks like everyone's writing some sort of summary on the state of their lives at this point in time. and by everyone, i mean two people. oh well. it compells me to do so too. as a way of seeing everything summed up, perhaps, or cataloguing. administration. personal administration.
uni
... is particularly uninteresting at the moment. one subject is on television and i find this useless knowledge, as i've steadily grown to despise most television over the past year or so. who gives a shit about the distracted spectator and soap operas? not me. but it's easy, and it'll be my last theory subject of my degree. the other subject i do is pretty easy ('now... who knows what dpi is?' - room is silent) - basically a rehash of everything i do every day at the magazine. except i'm learning flash, which will be good for web design, which is a bit of a hole in my knowledge right now. i guess uni is going ok. i guess it should be more important to me but isn't.
work
not going part time anymore. had a spack. staying full time and getting a pay rise. about fucking time. though i have a feeling i might get a job offer from another magazine fairly soon, for a lot more money too i think, so that's when i'll have to decide how loyal i am to the one i'm at now. hmm. otherwise i guess it's going ok. i have a lot more spare time and so i am allowed to do whatever i want really.
health
fall down a bit here. have to wear a heart monitor for 2 weeks which is giving me severe welts on my skin - the electrodes have this goo on them that helps conduct, which means my skin doesn't breathe for three days (that's how long each electrode set lasts, though i get too pissed off and rip them off before that), which means itchy red rashes from the irritation. really, really annoying. plus it looks stupid. electrodes are connected to ipod like box which contains the data. whatever. i'm not wearing it every day anymore. anyway i also have to go in for a 24 hour monitor next week, which i'm sure will be just as annoying. and then back to the cardiologist to get results. which i'm so sure will be absolutely nothing. also, they won't let me drive for 3 weeks. it's all very very frustrating, because i think this fainting thing is just because of my extremely low blood pressure, but they have to do all these tests and put me through hell so they can make sure it is that. oh and i might have to have a ct scan too. you know, to rule out the tumour possibility.
love
i am in. i suppose. i think. sometimes i'm not sure that's it or it is just a fondness i have for him. or maybe just a respect that i have for him. i don't know. maybe these strange feelings are just the honeymoon period fading? or no. or it is that i am still just too insecure to allow myself to believe that he might love me (i say 'might' because i am still not sure). i can't tell. but i just try not to think about it which makes things ok. i enjoy being with him immensely. that's enough for now, isn't it?
other
took photos today. 2 rolls. i need to build up my design and photography portfolio to apply for a masters - which i want to do next year. did i mention that? probably not. but i do. i think.
have to go now. meeting my other soon, with his friend and his friend's date (who is a model). so have to look at least respectable. right? gah.