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< the archer | posted at 6:36 pm on December 08, 2004 > my pride is still hurt from being tossed by mr raincheck. which it shouldn't be, but it is. and it doesn't help that he will still be working with the company (albeit in quite a few months).i need new projects. i'm thinking about just starting some up., just with myself. writing something. designing something. finding a direction. after this last stint of creativity i'm getting stifled again, because the creative stimulation i currently get is this stagnated, strange, bastardised version of 'creativity'. the lovely upstairs boy is returning to the city tonight, and then we are going to hang around a friend's apartment for a bit - where he will meet the first of my friends - hopefully his haircut isn't as dire as he makes it seem (we did have some brief jokes about there being swear words shaved into the back of his head, rat's tails, mo- and faux-hawks, etc) - hopefully they all like each other and get along. tomorrow i turn 20. i was a busybody and snuck a peek at my birthday card, so everyone at work keeps telling me that i 'ruined christmas'. i have extensive plans for fun, joy and celebrations. yum. but i don't want to turn 20. i want to stay 17 forever... with each passing birthday i am more and more reminded of the fact that i am fast heading into the depths of 'life' and therefore i have to make decisions, BE something, and FEEL something. all of which sounds terribly cliched, but i don't mean it to, i just mean for it to be understood, and now i'm just rambling. love, joy and happiness to you all. i really need to go to the bathroom those last five |