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< a memorable evening | posted at 1:59 pm on July 04, 2003 > at work at the moment, and it's probably not a great idea to be updating here, but, hell.last night i went to darling harbour with all my friends who had just finished exams. didn't feel all that celebratory to me, as i finished the first semester of uni this year on june 10, but there were law parties and med parties and so on and so on. (also, i find out today that there were many work functions held there including the very same function that prevented us from getting into the law party for hours and eventuated in our giving up - but i digress) we attempted entry into the law party but it was a thirty dollar cover charge and we ended up moving on and forgetting it after waiting for way too long - and went to the med party which had no cover charge, and no wait. we were severely pissed off after our long unfruitful wait for law party so got very drunk very quickly - and i ended up vehemently arguing igby goes down's strong points and his similarity to holden caulfield with an old acquaintance who happened to be there - who was himself arguing vehemently that holden caulfield and igby were not alike at all and that the movie was crap. (well he had some good points)... after which we actually had some quite in-depth conversations and talked of actual things of note, which i haven't done for a while - and connected, which was very odd, since that hasn't happened to me in a very long time either. there is always that element of me not belonging that i perpetually feel and last night when i was talking to him i did not feel that. (ok i was drunk, too, but it was still different). friend A was talking to various friends of hers; including saying very revealing things to an ex-boyfriend, friend B was with one of her external friends and getting severely drunk, friend C was rushing around trying to make sure everyone was ok and noone said anything they shouldn't have. so eventually we end up at all different parts of darling harbour - me still with old acquaintance discussing existential things. me and old acquaintance kiss and he says he really likes me etc etc etc and more of the same, we are sitting on the steps by pyrmont bridge very cold and finally wander back to where everyone else is. old acquaintance asks me to stay at his house, i say no. (none of that, thanks). we come back to see friend A and C crowding around a passed out friend B in the footpath area and rush to help her, we all then proclaim it the end of the night and take taxis home - friend B's external friend (who we all know is in love with her, unrequitedly, on another note) is like superglue to her, carries her back to friend C's house where we all sit and make sure she is ok, at which point it is four am and i still have to be (here) at work at nine and friend C drops old acquaintance and external friends back home. old acquaintance calls me as soon as he gets home and asks me out on a date - he is very nervous and says 'probably an inappropriate time to call'. about a million times. i say yes, i'd like that. after we put friend B to bed and are happy with her state, friend C asks me what happened with old acquaintance - i tell her - she says 'you know he has a girlfriend' i say i fucking didn't, and she says 'two years'. so now i don't know what to think or what to do, because actually this might have been out of date information and he might have broken up with her - as my other friend, let's call her friend D thought. but i don't know. then again in the morning friend B, after being thoroughly embarrassed regarding her antics the night before, is elated that he asked me out and wanted desperately to tell his ex girlfriend (which, incidentally, is how he is an old acquaintance) who is an arrogant poncy little bitch who decided we weren't good enough to be friends with her. and who, apparently, still likes him. *sigh* i actually really liked him, i did. oh, what a to-do!
i'm back at 11.30pm i always seem to like the crap ones now don't i. there would be a respectable way of going about this, but i'm a selfish bitch. then again, after all his yabbering shit about 'connection' and 'it's just a beautiful thing' and 'this is natural' - besides the fact that he wanted me to go back and stay at his place non-sexually - just to be with me - though who would believe that anyway, especially in hindsight - and that he asked a bloody million times - and that he called at four fucking am just as he got home - and that i didn't even give him my number, he went through two people at four am to get it - and that he followed me around as i was halfheartedly trying to help friends of whatever letter they were in the freezing cold - even when i didn't expect him to and when he could have been doing much more entertaining things... i don't know - is that not confusing? according to friends of various letters i have conquered a great feat with this (it was three years with the girlfriend, oops, not two) and they are all busting to tell ex girlfriend... whatever. i don't understand. i'm frankly pissed off as well - not a nice guy after all. i really did think he was different. this... irritates me. and i believe in time will upset me. there is always a gap. those last five |