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< not to intervene when it comes to you | posted at 11:22 am on November 22, 2003 > so i guess i should say something...my friend is ending up going on that trip. did i rant about that? i'm still torn between whether i am irritated by it, or because i am a good friend, i do feel for her. i do wish she could go. i don't know. in any case. she is going, it is, however, cut a little short, and she's borrowing a thousand dollars from me. i know, i know, money between friends = bad, but she needs it, and i am a friend, and she will pay it back. and if she doesn't, there will be throat slitting involved. there is no bloody food in the house. the bread is mouldy and there's nothing else. i was going to have eggs, but i can't have eggs without bread. so i am here, starving. i applied for a place in student housing next year. i figure with rent assistance and youth allowance i can afford it pretty proper, especially as i feel i am getting another pay rise next week - i bloody well deserve it! - and i'd save money on travel costs. do you know how irritating it is taking three forms of transport to get to and from work every day (four if you count four hundred metres of walking)? and how annoying it is that i can't go out and just come home whenever - first the transport thing, then the parents thing... and it's about time i got a little more independent. i earn my own money, i have a job, i study, the next step is living out of home - just a taste of it, anyway. so i hope i get that. it essentially means that since i am leaving for vietnam for a month in a week, and going to india for three weeks in feb, that i have january back in australia and back home, then (if i get this spot) out of home in early march. ten days between arrival back in australia and university semester starting again. i've begun to write again, since it was so boring at work with everyone in melbourne for the week. once i get into something, i really get into it. i whip off pages and pages and pages. then i read through and realise that i don't know where i'm heading. and it never falls together. i have so many narratives started, but never finished. i don't know how to finish something. but it's therapeutic, and i feel creative, in a sense, as well. although it never leads anywhere. yet i'm also stuck in a creative directionless hole... i want to be creative - but how? which strand? do i want to be a cinematographer? editor? producer? director? do i want to not get into film, but into print? magazines? production? publishing? art direction and graphic design? web design? do i want to take a chance and do photography? (i say 'chance' because i don't know how good i am at it - all i know is that i love doing it). i guess i don't have to worry about it yet.. well, i do... but i won't. those last five |