|
< double trouble | posted at 1:35 pm on July 25, 2003 > i've got to stop going out with all the same people.in grand celebration of tara's birthday last night, we attended a function in darling harbour. i see people i have met three times and yet who each time pretend they have never met me. upon realising that they will, indeed, see me again, and that to acknowledge that we had met multiple times previous would be the 'polite' thing to do, they actually recognise that they've met me this time. oh, great. people who are my friends' friends, in pointy toed shoes and stripy shirts, four hundred dollar jeans and 'pashminas'. i'd much rather have been in the pub with scruffy people and cheap drinks, and good conversation. none of this 'so, what have you been doing' bullshit. i am waiting for the night to end. my friend (the ambo one) taps my shoulder. 'hey sar, just to let you know, sam's coming, and he's bringing someone else too.' read: old acquaintance. the night is getting better and better by the minute. oh there is more, everyone. we are waiting at the bar to buy drinks, and someone surprises us. it is andy. will gives me a meaningful look. apparently andy has had a work function and gone to the same bar as us for after-work drinks, and saw me from across the room. thought 'sarah wouldn't be here without...' and spots his real friends. so i get to look forward to seeing two previous encounters. it is at this point that i decide to get very, very drunk. old acquaintance arrives and we ignore each other. completely. we don't speak. we stand a metre apart and still pretend not to have seen each other. after another shot i feel this is utterly childish and uncalled for and, well, let's face it, pathetic. i march up to him. tap his shoulder. say, 'hi, how are you?' we engage in conversation. inane bullshit conversation. we are friendly. he says, 'i'm sorry for calling you the other night.' i reply, truthfully, 'why?' [surely we are mature enough to be able to speak to each other?] he is lost for words. they leave to go to north sydney, to, er, meet his girlfriend up there. i love how they were so uncomfortable knowing that i knew this. my good friend says to me, 'i saw that. very brave, sarah. very brave.' i reply, 'not so brave, i'm drunk. it's all about good terms.' as for andy - that was ok. we were civil, even friendly. he was in a good mood, however. he even said hello to jess and el. that, er, never happens. i think he was just happy to have bumped into us all. he was entertaining and actually good natured. however having seen them both in the one night in the one place was a little much for me. i am feeling low and unhappy. so i decide to message my little ego boost who is in love with me with the following: 'pissed and depressed. have seen two ex boys tonight. fucked. wouldn't be messaging you if i wasn't.' bad idea. he replies, 'are you ok? i'm a bit down too... issues.' (and then more, however, i was pissed and deleted it straight away.) reply, 'sorry that last message was mean. forget it. i'm good. everything's fine. don't worry.' he calls. i say i'm ok. this was a bad idea. then, he messages 'hey i do worry ok? i know we hardly talk anymore and whatever happened did, byegones (sic) to it all. if you need anything you know where to find it.' i didn't reply. i don't intend to talk to him for a while. we eat greasy macca's and go home. it's late. i'm sleepy. i wake in the morn not wanting to go to work. but i do, because i have so much to do. speaking of which. back to it. those last five |