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< back dated | posted at 3:03 am on April 09, 2004 >

I guess I�ve had a bit of a strange week. I haven�t properly updated in a while, so here goes.

Went to a filmy conference thingy on Wednesday to represent my workplace, which, despite its portent of being boring as hell, was pretty good. I bumped into a photography friend who was speaking as she got a government grant to make a film which subsequently did really well on the international festival circuit, and it was really good catching up with her for ages� then I spent a whole lot of time talking to a Vietnamese up-and-coming filmmaker about a whole lot of things � my company gave him an award last year for his very unique film � so we talked about that, the whole �dual identity� thing, all that stuff. Was pretty cool. So much more interesting than I gave the day credit for being.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of telling a workmate that I thought he was kinda cute and that I�d go for it if I thought he was straight (which we don�t actually think, by the way). Now it seems the whole office is giggling over it.

On Tuesday I participated in more borderline emails with the workmate who I still, unfortunately, hold a small flame for� he was in a great mood after a week off. Today, however, he was in a crap mood because the mag was going to print and he was behind. I gave him a massage and he talked about how scared he was about the wide wide world� I said so was I, my other (nosey!) workmate asked if we were leaving the company to run off and get married, and then he proposed. (of course, I accepted). It�s so bloody confusing, that is� that�s just a little something that�s been going on in the background here�

And then I went to a play after work, at which I bumped into my crush from photography last year (who sadly isn�t taking the subject this year), and someone there looked suspiciously like Mr Strange-Name of last Thursday (who never did reply to my message, by the way, folks)� but it�s a trashy and sad truth that I was so pissed I don�t quite remember what he looked like � I just remember he was blonde and cute � so we�ll never know. He either didn�t recognise me, didn�t acknowledge me, or it wasn�t him altogether. By the way he was acting, it was either a) or c), because if it was b) he would have been much more awkward.

Then I went home, got changed, and went to newtown for some drum and bass with mates, at which I had a fantastic time � it�s been so long since I did!

Wow. And in the midst of all this I � again � got inspired to get creative. For fuck�s sake, I�m going to do stuff. How many times do I say this? Sigh.

Oh yeah. And I�ve been getting sms�s from someone (sent from the internet, so I can�t ring it) who won�t tell me who they are, but that they are just �a friend who is very concerned about you�. My last reply said �Honestly, just tell me who you are, I�m not replying anymore till you do� and I bloody well won�t. Honestly. Who has the time and/or inclination to constantly sms someone and not say who they are? Besides that, messages like �It�s cold out here today Sarah. Get yourself warm� are fucking scary.

My next door neighbour, Justin, who I think has a crush on me (after the whole �Sorry I overreacted� sms incidents of last week) told me the reason he was in Australia the other day. Previously he was in America, studying aeronautical engineering. Today, he�s in Australia, in the first year of an Economics degree� his friend died in America, and he couldn�t handle being there anymore. He thinks it�s his fault. They were dancing, and he accidentally bumped a guy on the dance floor. He apologised, but the guy pulled out a knife � a 10inch blade � and his friend jumped in front of him. He saw his own friend die instead of himself. That fucking story made me cry.

He might go back soon, but he�s not sure. Not sure if he�s ready. God. Painful.

I think that�s it. So confused. So crazy.

those last five
- - June 13, 2008
hidden - August 14, 2006
it's not me, it's you - January 30, 2006
boring. Sorry. not really. - December 22, 2005
twenty-one - December 09, 2005