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< there she goes | posted at 7:24 pm on January 25, 2004 > we scattered my grandfather's ashes today. picked up the uncle and cousins that are in aus, and grandmother of course, and headed to a small beach in botany where he used to take us as kids. sat and ate, then let him go, and sent flowers with him. the little girls had lots of fun throwing the flowers into the sea. it was nice. i almost missed it because my sister was off with the younger ones, and i had to retrieve her. but in the end i got to see it.my grandmother is prone to spontaneous bouts of crying... when she does this, her teeth fall out, we all laugh and then she starts laughing too, and the teeth don't get put back in for ages 'cause you can't reinsert dentures when you're laughing, or when you're crying, for that matter. on friday night it was my friend eleanor's birthday drinks, at which i got quite tipsy (i wouldn't say drunk, i didn't get that head spinning thing i get and associate with being severely pissed, but i'd say quite happily tipsy). her little philosophy had rubbed off on me, kind of, which is her newfound need to make peace with everyone. so when i saw tracy, source of insecurities, there, i was nice. and had fun, with her. we shotted together. and it was almost like before. we even joked about andy together (though i don't think there'll ever be a time where we'll joke about the other boy). i went to the bathroom with her and another friend (in a very tipsy state, mind you) to demonstrate the breast abnormality business, don't worry, i didn't whip them out, it was more of a exteneded explanation with a bit of a looksee thing. and then when another friend, who i'd lost contact with (through no fault of my own - i don't think she ever liked me anyway. in any case she had a falling out with one of my closer friends), and who i've heard is sad that she has lost contact with everyone, turned up, i was nice to her too. it must be hard not to have friends. and i'm suddenly in this mindset that everyone does bad things (myself so very included in there), everyone makes mistakes. and we're still allowed to have fun, and enjoy ourselves. so i was friendly to her, too. had a bit of a drunken d&m (they happen) with a lovely girl who was in the year below me at school and who we see socially a little more than i would've predicted. she somehow knew all about the andy antics (including the conversation we had last time it almost happened but didn't), and even about the old acquaintance antics. so i told her full stories of them both. it's interesting. she's a good listener. and then i heard about her dilemmas over this and that and whoever, and a great guy who i know through other people who would be great for her and who has a thing for her, but who is er, about ten centimetres shorter than her and as she put it, 'has a waist about your size, sarah. it'd be like me dating you'. she has issues with the fact that it would be going out with a guy smaller than her. and i don't blame her. i feel like having lunch with tracy or something before i leave. patching things up a little more. then again, if i see her sober, i might retract all this. it's one of the many differing effects of alcohol on me, the rose-coloured glasses business. time will tell. those last five |